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CHAPTER ONE To me, our way of breathing is a metaphor symbolizing the way we relate to reality. Our inhales reveal how much we’re willing to take in from the universe around us, how much we’re open to, how effortlessly we are open to it, and how satisfied we are when we get what we want. Our exhales reveal what we think the universe does: Does it accept our old, stale, used substance? Does it reject us? Do we have to fight to get rid of something? Dare we get rid of anything? What I regard as the ideal Rebirthing breath metaphorically expresses some simple thoughts: I can effortlessly and with great pleasure and satisfaction receive from the universe everything that I want. And, I can, with no effort at all, let go of anything that’s stale, that I no longer have any use for. There are some simple rules about obtaining satisfaction from the breath: Any breath that is quick is unlikely to be satisfying. Any breath that is shallow is unlikely to be satisfying. Any breath that is furtive, especially a breath where the in and the out breath are very short and shallow, with a long pause between them, is unlikely to be satisfying, nourishing. So the ideal breath is slowly drawn, is deep, and is conscious and connected. I am alive as I breathe, and the more I breathe in a conscious connected fashion, the more fully alive I am. If I, indeed, spend a great deal of time not breathing, instead staying still between my in and out breath or between my out and in breath, then during all that time what am I doing? Am I living fully? I don’t think so. Instead, I’m probably consolidating some old stale thoughts and feelings of anxiety or dread or rage or pain or any of the other negative feelings which so often intervene between our in and out breath. I may be yearning for a repetition of something I previously enjoyed, wasting time in idle revery. But, whatever it is that I’m doing, I’m not living in the Now, in the moment. In a sense, I’m not actually living—I’m just re-living old events. When I connect the in and out breath and make certain that I’m either breathing in or out, I am, instead, living in the moment, Right Now, and I can bring to bear in my dealings with reality all that is Right Now within me. If I don’t make my inhales consciously deep and satisfying. I"m not living in the Now. I’m operating instead with some old mistaken ideas about being satisfied. I must stay conscious of the depth of inspiration, the degree of satisfaction felt with each inhale. I may need to make an effort, at first, to take in as much as I can, to stretch for the sensation of satisfaction, of fullness, of completion, with each inhale. To open my inhale, I sometimes start thinking of my inhales as yawns, as full, deep, slow, gentle, satisfying yawning breaths, because when I yawn, there’s an instant when I have taken in enough air and I know I’m satisfied. My reason for stressing satisfaction with each inhale is that I see the inhale as a perfect symbolic representation of how we receive from the universe. I want to get what I want to get. I want to get it now. I want to get as much of it as I can get or at least as much of it as I want until I’m satisfied that I’ve gotten enough. I manifest that reality in my life by demonstrating that relationship in my breathing. I breathe in a fashion that allows me to be satisfied, allows me to get all I want, allows me to receive all that’s available. I don’t resist accepting and receiving. Another important quality of the perfect, satisfying breath, in addition to depth and ease of respiration, is the matter of where in the lungs the air is being placed. Most men breathe abdominally. When I watch men sitting and doing something, I usually notice their bellies going in and out while their chests and their shoulders essentially remain unmoving. By the same token, if I watch women sitting and working quietly, generally I’ll notice that the breath is placed in the bodice, the area between the nipples and the waist, and that the ribs are doing a lot of work, as is the diaphragm. But the shoulders aren’t moving very much and the upper chest isn’t filling. Apparently, most of us hold on to our old negatives in the top portions of our chest, where they not only depress respiration, but they even interfere with the free movement of our heart as it’s pumping and circulating. I suggest to my Rebirthees, "Make a real effort, focus consciously on bringing the breath up into the areas of your chest above your nipples, into the top third of the chest." As we make an effort to take the breath up into the top part of the chest, we’re actually changing the conditions that surround the heart. There are many important physiological reflexes that allow the heart to fill with more blood and make a stronger beat when the lungs are inflated fully. It’s as if by opening the ribcage to get more air into the alveoli, we are also opening a little extra space for the heart to fill into. Such statements as, "My heart soared like a lion," or "I felt my heart jump for joy," describe this sensation. It’s truly important to promote such sensations by bringing the inhale up into the top third of the lungs. Such full breaths and heart action are the way we mediate and feel love and forgiveness. I want to feel full of love. I want to love everyone around me, and I want everyone around me to love me. I want to know love, to receive it, and feel it, without barriers. When I do feel like that, I have a sensation of fullness in my chest. That satisfaction is connected with breathing deeply so that cardiac function is improved. When my heart is filled, I am satisfied. Many people find that placing the inhale high into the top third of the lungs is, indeed, an effort, a strain, and initially they dislike it. But after a few sessions of practicing inhaling in a full, gentle, slow, satisfying manner and making certain to bring the inhale into the top third of the lungs, not just down into the belly or into the bodice, most people find such inhales not only easy to do, but desirable. They find themselves enjoying taking a full breath, filling more of their lung space than they’ve filled, probably, since they were born. A fourth aspect of the inhale that I stress is slowness and gentleness. Muscles that are not practiced, that aren’t moved very often are generally relatively weak muscles and tend not to respond very promptly. When I breathe in quickly, I’m not able to take as much air up into the top third of my lungs as I can when I simply take more time on the inhale. My intercostal muscles, the muscles that attach one rib to the next rib (the meat that people eat when they buy ribs at a barbecue), can’t respond promptly or work very hard if I inhale rapidly. Unless I give my intercostals time to respond fully, which they do only during a slow inhale, the fullness of my inhale itself is diminished. In addition to these characteristics of the ideal inhale, there are several important dimensions of the exhale. The qualities that mark the ideal exhale are effortlessness and satisfaction. Just as I don’t want to struggle to get what I want, I don’t want to struggle to get rid of any stale, used, outmoded thoughts and feelings. I want to let such old negative stuff go just as quickly as I can. It’s no longer of use. I want the exhale to demonstrate that. I want the exhale to be effortless, I don’t want it to be forced. As discussed in greater detail in the chapter on Rebirthing and Hyperventilation, I don’t want my Rebirthees to push on their exhale because they may promote the state of hyperventilation with its sequels of restlessness, dizziness, and anxiety, and, ultimately, of tetany and spasm and pain and numbness. None of that discomfort is necessary to produce the good effects of Rebirthing. So, I ask people that I’m Rebirthing simply to let go enough old air so that they feel that they have room to take in some new air, not making an effort to empty themselves at all, not pushing the exhale until the lungs are collapsed and empty. People who push past the level of the residual, tidal volume of air that’s normally left in the lungs, who squeeze themselves to get the last of their old breath out, very often are people who feel that they must have nothing before they can go for something more. They need that goad of anxiety, of panic, before they are prompted to go for more. When I watch people who persist in collapsing their lungs with each exhale, I’m reminded of the kind of person who waits until he’s absolutely starving before he thinks about getting something to eat, or the person who doesn’t save anything, but spends whatever funds he has, and never has anything at all to fall back on, no emergency funds. Another kind of crisis personality is the person who waits until the last moment to start working on a project, who only feels capable of handling it if he waits until the last moment. People like that reveal that same kind of characteristic pattern when it comes to their breathing. They empty themselves. They sigh long, long sighs, until there’s nothing left, and then they wait empty like that, until they finally frantically must gasp in their new inhale. I don’t want people to live in a state of constant anxiety lest they fail to survive, so that they’re almost on the brink of death before each inhale, having nothing to rely on, no resources, because they’ve pushed it all out. By making the exhale ideal, by showing the universe that I’m willing to let go of anything that I’ve already had because I’ve already and had it, I know there’s more, I’m demonstrating what I regard as an abundance consciousness, as well as what I call a safety consciousness: The Universe exists to support me. Anything that I want to let go of can be accepted by the Universe and will ultimately be recreated into something new and good. This is the symbolic image of the Hindu Lord, Shiva, who is the Great Destroyer of all form, who takes whatever was and turns it back into perfection, recycling it to the Hindu God, Brahman, the Creator of all things. Another breathing pattern that reveals negative thought is guarding the exhale. How can I show that I really believe that the Universe is out there to accept me, to receive me, to support me, if I’m even afraid of letting go my exhale? Sometimes I watch people who, instead of laughing openly, put their hands across their mouths and titter into their hands as if they would offend the very air around them by opening their mouths and laughing openly. I often see people do the same with their tears. And I see people do the same thing with their voices—holding back everything that comes out as if it would offend someone. Many times I’ve watched people with colds who, breathing through their mouths, keep their lips barely parted, so that they’re straining each little bit of air through a tiny hole between their parted lips, as if there were something uncouth and vulgar and wrong, maybe even sinful and immoral, about breathing through their mouths. When I have a patient who’s breathing like that, sometimes I’ve challenged, "How come, if your nose is so plugged up with your cold, you just don’t let your jaw hang slack and breathe freely in and out through your mouth?" Usually the reply is some silly response like, "I’m afraid that I’ll attract the flies." But of course that’s not true, and they know it’s not true. They are actually manifesting with every exhale their fear that someone is going to chastise them for letting go, for making too much noise, for calling attention to themselves with their breath or their voice, or indeed even with their tears. Sometimes I see people who are unusually thin, who have no breadth to their skeletal structure, who seem to be walking around with chests the size of a 10-year-old child, who look as if their shoulder girdles simply didn’t develop and enlarge when they went into puberty. Many of these people take what I call "bird breaths," tiny little gasps for the inhale, followed by furtive little exhales, and then an extremely long pause. Such people combine all the worst features of the crisis individual with those of the I-am-not-entitled-to-get-enough individual. They don’t get much and they don’t get the little they do get very often. Their lives generally reveal that attitude: Most often these are the people who come to me with the compliant that they’re tired of not getting anything out of life. When I ask them what do they get, I find them saying that eating and sex and other physical pleasures aren’t very important to them. So, much as you would luxuriate in taking a slow, leisurely, full yawn, show the Universe by your deep, full, satisfied inhales that you’re really open to getting as much as you want. And show the Universe by your effortless, careless exhales that you trust it, you know it’s out there supporting you, ready to receive whatever you let go and throw away, knowing that you have never wanted to harm anyone or offend in any way. Stale, used stuff needs to be let go of, and you know the Universe understands that and doesn’t blame you for it. Another one of the old causes of the type of constrained, depressed breathing that is static and unsatisfying is the fear of being offensive. It may well be that people who exhale furtively were often criticized, especially when they were being diapered or crying loudly. Maybe they have concluded that anything coming out of their body will offend people they need approval from. Maybe they are afraid of having breath that smells bad. These may be people who flush the toilet or run the water faucet as they’re using the toilet so that no one outside of the toileting space will be bothered by the sound of their toileting activities. They’ve learned to hold back, including holding back their exhales. When I notice bad breath, I say so, matter of factly. I ask if the person has something wrong with his teeth or tonsils or sinuses. If not, I point out that the major reason people smell bad is because they’re eating dead animals. The cure for offensive breath and for offensive bowel movements is to eat a diet that is mostly fresh fruit and vegetables, raw nuts and seeds. Herbivores have sweet breath. Anyone who’s been downwind from a cow knows how sweet the hay smell from the cow’s mouth is. And anyone who’s been around rabbits or any other herbivores knows that, by and large, their feces and urine are not at all as bad smelling as the waste products from carnivores, cats and dogs, for example. So I suggest a person with smelly body emanations switch to the diet that the Diamonds called "Fit for Life," a diet which is essentially 80-85 percent raw fruit, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. The ideal Rebirthing breath combines relaxation with satisfaction. It’s like the behavior of an infant when he has taken enough milk: he takes an almost convulsive inhale, almost shuddering a little on the exhale, and then generally lets the muscles of his neck relax so that his head nods down on his chest or against the shoulder or arms of whoever’s holding him. We are inherently rhythmic creatures. We became accustomed to rhythmic stimulation when we were in the womb. The pattern of our mother’s breathing, the pattern of her heartbeat, the pattern of her pelvis moving forward and back with each step when she walked—all of these provided us our first understanding of rhythmic stimulation. Hearing our own heartbeat and paying attention to our own respiration confirm our basic understanding that there is a rhythm in the universe, a tide to all things. When I’m teaching the ideal breath to people who’ve had musical training or who are into dancing, I ask them to discard and put out of mind any thought that the good Rebirthing breath is a militant breath, like a march, with four beats to a measure and each breath, in or out, taking one beat. Living is not a military exercise—it is, instead, rapturous rejoicing and acceptance. So, I ask my Rebirthee to conjure up the mental image of birds soaring, pulling down on a strong power beat and then gliding as they recover. I ask him to think about how the waves roll up on the shore, approaching for a couple of beats and then receding amazingly quickly. I ask him to think of breathing in a waltz rhythm, with the inhale taking two beats, and the exhale, one beat, so it’s in, in, out, in, in, out. After that’s mastered, I usually suggest he go to a 6/8 rhythm, breathing in to five counts and breathing out for one count, so it’s in, in, in, in, in, out, in, in, in, in, in, out. When my Rebirthee has mastered the 3/4 waltz rhythm or the 6/8 rhythm, there is no longer any likelihood of pushing on the exhale and hyperventilating. There is luxury and satisfaction in inhaling, and the exhale is an effortless dropping away of old stale air. I acknowledge that everyone who breathes in the conscious connected fashion, whatever the rhythm or amplitude, does achieve Rebirthing. However, in the years that I’ve witnessed people Rebirthing, I have seen many people who are still struggling with the same problems that they spoke of nineteen years ago, although they say that their lives have changed considerably and that they’re significantly happier now that they’ve been into Rebirthing. How come? Isn’t Rebirthing working? My answer is, If you’re not getting what you want, if you’re still complaining about the same things you were complaining about before you started Rebirthing, then you probably are not breathing correctly. You need to change your breathing. You need to let go old negatives so you regain your power. Then you can create for yourself the life that you consciously desire. You need to change especially from the effortful huffing and puffing that I see even many famous Rebirthers practice to the kind of breathing that I’ve been talking about in this chapter. I see it work. I don’t see the struggling breath work as well. So, in summary, the two parts of the breath, the in and the out breath, need to be connected so that you are as alive as possible. They need to be effortless and unforced, so that you are not pushing beyond normal limits and are not provoking the state of hyperventilation. The breaths need to be slow and gentle, so that your relatively unresponsive, untutored intercostal muscles have sufficient time to respond. And the Rebirthing breath needs to be brought up into the top third of the chest, both to open up previously unused alveoli and also to permit the sensation of the heart filling more fully. Try it, teach it to your clients, practice it yourselves, see if I’m not right.
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The Logic of Magical Thought and The Dance of the Breath CHAPTER
TWO CHAPTER
THREE CHAPTER
FOUR CHAPTER
FIVE CHAPTER
SIX CHAPTER
SEVEN CHAPTER
EIGHT CHAPTER
NINE CHAPTER
11 CHAPTER
12 CHAPTER
13 CHAPTER
14 CHAPTER
15 CHAPTER
16 CHAPTER
18 CHAPTER
19 CHAPTER
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