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CHAPTER
FIVE
Only yesterday someone asked me, “What’s the connection between
Rebirthing and Babaji?
Do I have to believe in this Indian guru in order to get any value
from Rebirthing?”
Of course the answer is, No.
But without planning or consciously desiring it, I found that as I
Rebirthed, I began having an intense, profound relationship with this guru
residing in Herakhan, up in the Himalayas, in Uttar Pradesh, India.
My initial reaction when I first heard a Rebirther chanting a
Sanskrit chant and talking about a fellow who had yellow stripes across
his forehead was, “This is nonsense.
Why does a guru always have to be talking to us in some otherwise
unintelligible language?
Why does he have to wear weird get-up’s and live in far-away
places? Why
is it that so-called spiritual people are so resistant to the beliefs, the
recognitions, that have developed from our own Western world?”
In fact, my reaction wasn’t even mild.
I found myself intensely disgusted with people who were running
around chanting away in some foreign language, talking about how much they
wanted to go to India to see Babaji.
Even as late as Fall of 1980, after almost three years of
involvement with Rebirthing, I still had a great deal of impatience and
scorn when confronted by Rebirthers who chanted, “Om Namah Shivai.”
Matters changed quite suddenly and unexpectedly.
Leonard Orr was staying at my house, along with Jeanne Carr and
about a dozen other Rebirthers from Campbell Hot Springs.
Also visiting was my older sister from New York City who had never
been in my house in Los Angeles before and who had never been Rebirthed.
My house was full of commotion.
The drama of that circus, however, was far exceeded by the events
occurring in my professional teaching life at Los Angeles City College.
As one of the senior professors, for years I had had a schedule
where I taught an 8:00 class, a 9:00 class, and then an 11:00 class, so
that on days when I didn’t meet with anyone later than that for a
testing or counseling session, I was able to leave my campus office at
noon and come home to see patients in my private practice and do other
things.
My new department Chair, however, gave me a schedule for Spring of
1981 that no longer permitted that.
In fact, I was scheduled for an 8:00 class, an 11:00 class, and a
1:00 class, so that I would have four empty hours to spend in my office
each day.
There would be very little that I could do to occupy myself
productively during so many office hours each week, especially since it
wasn’t even possible to keep a typewriter in my office because equipment
was regularly stolen whenever left there.
In addition, I couldn’t come home until mid-afternoon, too late
to see patients and also prepare supper.
When I saw my new schedule, I was sure some mistake had been made,
so I went to see my Chairperson.
She, however, angrily told me that if I didn’t like it, I could
quit, but that she was not going to change it.
Equally angry, I told her I would, indeed, quit.
So, I phoned the College District Board and requested my
resignation papers.
Then I left campus to go home to be with Leonard and the others.
Driving home, I wondered why I had created such a confrontation.
I gave a lot of serious consideration to the possibility that this
bizarre angry confrontation had taken place so that I would stop teaching
and instead immerse myself full-time in Rebirthing and leading Rebirth
trainings.
However, I certainly did not consciously want to stop being a
college teacher.
After all, teaching was a major part of my life.
By that time, I’d spent over twenty-two years teaching: seven and
a half years at the University of Chicago before moving to California to
teach at UCLA for a little over a year and then fourteen years at Los
Angeles City College.
I loved teaching.
But with such a bad schedule, I felt I had no alternative but to
quit.
When I came to school the following day, surprisingly, my
department Chairperson met me at my office door, and without apology or
explanation said that if I wanted to take a sabbatical leave the following
semester, it would be approved, even though I hadn’t requested one and
even though the application date for one had already passed several weeks
earlier.
I realized if I took a sabbatical, she wouldn’t have to explain
about giving me so outrageous a schedule that I preferred to quit.
As I thought further about it, I realized that being paid half pay
for a semester was certainly better than being paid no pay for a semester.
After all, I could always quit later.
Furthermore, if I took my typewriter with me, I could finish
working on my textbook on Physiological Psychology while fulfilling the
travel requirements for a sabbatical, traveling around California.
So, I hurriedly wrote up such a sabbatical plan and submitted it
for consideration by the District Board.
I was informed a few days later that my travel plan had been
accepted and that I was free to take the following semester off while
being paid half pay.
I received that notice at my house in the mail which I opened in my
office while Leonard was sitting nearby in my living room.
I jumped up and ran over to him to say, “Things are really
getting better and better!
Here I am now being paid to stay away from school for a semester
and that beats quitting and not getting any pay at all.”
Leonard said, “Good.
Now you can come to India with me and meet Babaji.”
That shocked me.
I said, “Oh, Leonard, I don’t know about meeting Babaji.
In fact, I find your interest in India very bizarre.
You know I’m Jewish and Jews don’t really have any kind of
material concepts of God.
I find it sort of childish to think that some particular person
somewhere is God.
If that can be true, then anyone, anywhere, can be God.
Anyhow, except during sex, I can’t surrender totally and
completely to anyone, even people I know and love very much.
So how can I expect myself to surrender to somebody that I don’t
know and really have no basis for having a relationship with?”
Leonard
said, “Well, think about it.
I’m going to be there in February, and that’s a really good
time of the year to be there.
India is beautiful and Herakhan is even more beautiful than
Campbell Hot Springs.”
I promptly discarded his suggestion that I might want to travel to
India, but I did start to contemplate the possibility of traveling outside
of the United States instead of staying in the States and working on my
book. I
got so excited over the thought, I inquired of the travel agent Leonard
recommended what a trip around the world would cost.
After a great deal of soul-searching and confusion, I decided to
take my friend Louis along with me and go on a trip around the world.
No working.
No typewriter.
I would write my textbook after we returned from our trip, during
the summer vacation.
When I received Pan Am’s brochure, I learned that stopping in
India on the way from Thailand to Egypt was no added expense!
So, I decided we would stop in India after all.
Phil Laut and Sondra Ray had just returned from Phil’s first trip
to Babaji.
When Phil learned that Louis and I were going, he brought over his
back pack and several handy items to use while trekking to the ashram and
while staying there.
I still have and use the clothesline he gave me.
I was very touched when Phil bent down to look into my eyes and
said, “We all want to make your trip to Babaji as easy and comfortable
as possible.”
So, three months after first receiving the proposed class schedule,
Louis and I were on our way to New Delhi, ready to meet Babaji for the
first time.
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